“Make the first incision just inside the thigh.” I moved the blade to where I thought he was referring. “Lower. There, right there is good. Now cut all the way down to the knee.” I did as he instructed, the flesh seemingly unzipping with hardly any blood. “Good. How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I nodded. “Now what?” Beads of sweat were beginning to form on my brow. The blade was ice cold in my tightly clenched hand. This was wrong.
“Ease up a bit. If you hold the knife too tight, you’ll tear the flesh, which means there will be more blood, and more blood is never good, right?” His voice was cool. It put my heart in my throat, gagging me. I shut my eyes tight, forcing back the tears.
“Right.” I said.
“Excellent. Now, remove the top of the thigh, making sure to cut all the way to the bone.” He leaned forward a bit. I turned and stared at him. “It’s all right. You’re doing just fine.” He gently touched my hand, guiding the blade towards the pale leg.
A few swipes of the knife later, I peeled the top half of the leg from the bone below. The resulting tearing sounds made me whimper, and he smiled, but tried his best to hide it with his hand. I plopped the meat slab on the metal tray beside me. There was a lot of blood now. I was getting faint.
“Alright, we have to hurry now, there’s a lot of blood.” At his words, the knife slipped from my hand. “Let me help you.” He picked up the blood soaked blade and made several swift, elegant swipes through the flesh, ignoring the blood covering his hands. Like a dance, his hand moved, guiding the surgical blade through the thick muscle. Before I knew it, he had stripped the entire leg to the bone, a horrific sight to behold. Only the foot remained completely intact, ending abruptly just above the ankle in a gory mess.
I closed my eyes only for a second, and when I opened them he had already clamped off the main arteries, and all blood had stopped flowing. The red stained bones hovered just above the dark puddle of blood that remained.
“There you are. Everything’s fine. Never take from others what you can provide yourself, see?”
“That’s a lot of blood.”
“Sure, but that’s expected your first time.” He chuckled. “You’ve lost your virginity, Charlie! Congratulations.” He laughed a little harder now. It was a sick joke, and I hated him even more for it.
“What do we do now?” I asked. He finished laughing and cleared his throat.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but all this has made me hungry! Don’t worry, I’ll handle everything, you just wait here.” With that, he was gone.
The moment he disappeared through the door, I released what was left in my stomach into the trashcan directly to my right. Before I was even done heaving, tears began to stream from my eyes, and I finished with a long and loud moan that resonated throughout the entire room, rattling the metal tools nearby. Snot leaked from my nose, and I drooled uncontrollably. My entire body was shutting down, and it seemed to want to get rid of everything from the inside before it did.
I looked to the heavens through the white ceiling of this hell, wishing more than anything to be somewhere else. What had I done in life to deserve this, to deserve this session with Dr. Deranged? I cried the rest of my time alone, until I could hear his steps indicating his return. I have no idea how long he had been gone.
“Here we are. Sorry that took so long.” Steak. I could smell steak as he entered the room. Seasoned steak with what smelled like an array of sautéed vegetables. To think I could eat at a time like this, but I did feel very much in need of a little protein.
He placed the plate on the same metal tray as before, and I realized that I hadn’t noticed what he had done with the meat from the leg. He swung the tray over my lap, which I greatly appreciated, for it blocked the sight of the hideous gore below. I took up the provided knife and fork and cut my first bite. By the looks of it, the meat was rare, my favorite. I placed the bite in my dry mouth and let it soak the juices. I let out a satisfied moan. I barely even noticed the local anesthetic in my legs starting to wear off.
“What is this?” I asked, cutting my second piece.
“Thigh.” The right side of his lips rose slightly.
“Tastey.”
It's been a while since I last posted. I would love to say that I've been busy, but that would be a lie. The rundown, if you care:
- Watched Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls...ok. First things first: when we arrived (using our fandango bucks, thank you MOM) we got our seats in a relatively nice spot. The screen looked relatively small, and at first glance looked as though Steven Spielberg had the audacity to shoot the whole film in 1:85:1 aspect ratio. Which for those of you who don't know what that means, just understand that it would have sucked. I took a deep breathe and put my faith in Spielberg, and low and behold, the curtains widened when the movie began and I was soon to be basked in 2.35:1 ratio glory. The film itself...well...Indiana Jones and the Constant Bombardment of Plot. From the very beginning the viewers are forced to inhale excessive amounts of info dumping, exposition and a shit ton of other badly written attempts that break the golden rule of "show, don't tell." It was like they were emphasizing: "it's been 19 years since we made one of these films, and since harrison ford is noticeably old and we won't ever be able to make a movie about what happened in those 19 years, you're going to have to put up with our shoddy attempt to summarize in friendly banter between 2 CIA agents and a high ranking Military Officer who knows Indy personally and fought with him in WWII...BOOYAH." Blech. Then, from there on out, the story moves at breakneck pace with plot element after plot element shoved in your face and a complete lack of Character Development because, "Hey, everyone knows Indiana Jones." and then boom, the movie ends with a terrible CGI alien and a corny line about "Knowledge is Treasure" AKA "Stay in school kids".....bastards. Seeing Indiana Jones in this fashion made me feel as though they had made a 4 hour movie and shrunk it into 2 hours. The only thing that brings light to the situation is that they'll release an incredible 4 disc DVD special edition with an extra two hours of film that establishes character and emotion rather than smack us in the face with constant action sequences and the obvious infatuation that Spielberg has for Shia Le Beouf.
- My birthday. I was actually awake the second May 22nd rolled around, on the internet playing my favorite Zombie game. It's called Zombie Panic, where you play as a human, fighting zombies until you either die or get infected, both of which result in you turning zombie, and then you proceed to eat the other surviving humans until A: You kill all humans or B: You kill all zombies. Pretty simple. Pretty awesome. So anyways, at the strike of midnight, my game quits on me. I try to get it going again, only to find out a little later that all my computers have lost internet. I try everything possible to fix it, but to no avail. by 1 i'm in bed. I wake up the next morning rubbing my eyes. The contact lenses i didn't take out the night before have crusted to my eyeballs and the only option i have is to remove them and refresh them with my lens solution since they were only 4 days used...upon taking them from my eyes, they both tear, an occurrence that has never happened to me. I successfully get ready for class and head out the door on my bike. Upon crossing the street by target, I avoid a large white truck and hit a bump, causing my sandal to fall off in the middle of the street. I can't help but laugh. I spin my bike around and collect my shoe before any serious harm comes to me. Halfway through class i get a call from my financial aid advisor, telling me my loan didn't go through because the lender I had signed with had just pulled out of the whole student loan business...how convenient. At this point I'm shaking my head in amazement, and laughing at my incredible luck. Is this what it's like to be 20? I spent the rest of the day talking to my parents and then chris poole. Kelsey is upset because she wanted to go to dinner before we went to Indiana Jones......this didn't happen and we ended up eating subway on the way to the movie. I was cool with that. Kelsey still seems bitter.
3 comments:
So what, you need an audience in order to continue creating? How can you call yourself an artist? Or do you? Maybe you're just another hollywood capitalist pupa, waiting to morph into a real spewer of consumer tripe. Create to create, not to be aggrandized. Are them fighten words? Maybe, pussy, you decide.
Oh, and by the way, your website, what was the question? Seriously though, it's kinda of..lacking. I think you need some sort of identifiers, some stuff or things that make you..you. I think that that is hard on a website and can only come through with writing, real writing, I think you've touched on it a couple of times in your posts here.
Imagery is fun but it lacks in real personality and only proves what kind of product you might be. Not what kind of person you are. I only mention it because it is one of the things that irks me about contemporary media artists and most people. the idea that if you hitch into the right image it doesn't matter what the content entails i.e. Speilberg/Lucas and their cliche. Say what you will about Kubrick, he is an intelligent artist. He always has a message, is it a painfully boring pursuit to find out what it may be? sometimes, but it is generally relevant, poignant, and usually timeless.
Alright it's now 3 hours later and I've now actually clicked on your 3 links on the website. I'm still right. Even though it's more of an online resume it's still missing that personal touch. maybe your just too young to know the anguish of the struggling artist.
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