Episode 2939: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

In response to Corey's post:

HE WAS FUCKIN GOOD! (I am currently having a discussion with Corey on this situation, so me going off on this would be kinda redundant, so I'll just leave it at that.) When you see the movie, THEN you come back to me and we'll have a discussion. I, meanwhile, also have a few things to watch...let me name a few:






.....

Sooooo yeah. I've got a couple things that need watching. I can't believe I've been so disconnected from my roots. It must have been speech team. Maybe I'll just have an entire weekend dedicated to movies..and I'll tell people when I'm watching what, and they can show up accordingly. That would be glorious.


POP QUIZ: Who's a total babe?**


(**HINT its not Julia Roberts)

Episode 7: Man on a Mission

Ok. Life is short. Too damn short. So I have compiled a list of secondary objectives I must complete (before college) in order to pass into the "real world" utterly satisfied. This list is being compiled at 12:30 AM, so a couple things may be left out, leaving it to be edited frequently. Here are the objectives so far:

• Climb the Watertower

• Sky Dive
• A Night with Whipped Cream and Strawberries

• Make a Zombie Movie

• Create an Explosion at LEAST 10 Feet Around

• Dress up as Link from Legend of Zelda

• Test Drive a Hummer
• Costume Party
• Huge Camp out
• Build a Fort
• Save the World from Evil

More to come. Don't Forget: I'm the Man. Oh, and whoever reads this page, start posting comments...because I'm getting bored.

Episode 9999: "Dwelling Bad Stuff IV"

Gory Glory. Rented Resident Evil 4 this friday. And 10 minutes into the game I was suddenly experiencing this:

"Excuse me, do you mind? Thats my fucking CHEST!"

Yes, exactly that. Some mofo with a potato sack over their head came charging at me with a chainsaw. Upon seeing this, I panic, and begin shooting everywhere chaotically, missing the woodcutting menace every time. Well, there is no mercy in this game, and with one swing, the chain came in contact with my neck and brutally sawed my head straight from its shoulders. AMAZING. I burst out into satisfied laughter and continued the game from the last check point.

After that, I became exceedingly better at doing this:

"Mmm...jelly"

If you do not master the whole shotgun head shooting technique, you will barely survive the first chapter of this game. It revolves around a small village full of hypnotized zombie-like villagers. They wield primitive weapons such as pitch forks and the occasional stick of dynamite, and go about all means nesseccary to rip me limb from limb. I suppose this aspect is better than zombies for this game, for it makes it a lot more fun to play. It allows for lots of fun in repelling invasions, for they come in through the first floor windows, so you run up stairs, and chuck a couple grenades down there. But then they get clever and pull ladders up to the second story windows and come through there. So you have to push the ladders down as they try to get up...lots of fun:

"Toodles!"

What a bitchin game with even more bitchin action. Its good to take a break from life and just blow the fuck out of foriegn bloodlusty villagers. Oh, and a couple of these dudes:

"Nice shorts..."

I love Resident Evil....

Episode 8798: I Needed That

So, went to school...came home sick fifteen minutes later. Even though I could have gotten out by simply telling them the symptoms I had, I had to go overboard with it and make them think I was going to die. It was really nice to have them treat me the way they did...makes me want to fake diseases more often...is that bad? fuck it...i loved every minute. Nearly cracking up whenever i said something ridiculous, and having to hide my smile as the nurse called my dad...I could just picture him on the other end, not buying any of it. But, he apparently did buy it, because he was real nice to me and brought me raisin toast. Either that or he respects me for the fact that I was able to pull it off in front of a nurse, and even have a teacher escort me out to the car...i like to think the latter is true, because that would make my relationship with my dad so much more cool. Who knows though, he totally pulled that shit at my age.

So anyways. I was at home, so I popped in Love Actually for the first time. It must have been the state I was in, because I LOVED that damn movie. It was great. Left a couple plot holes that I would like answered, but the other stories were good enough for me. It was just a nice movie to watch on a snowy day wrapped up in my sister's robe (far superior to men's robes. I just can't stand the whole shortness thing) and watching intently this obvious christmas chick flick.



Great movie. Also watched A Night In The Life of Jimmy Reardon.



Shit movie.

Don't let the cover fool you. It isn't a fun late 80's film about a boy who has fun with hott girls crawling all over him. Its more about a horny little fuck from the 60's who wants to fuck his virgin girlfriend who's never seen a penis all the while being a little bitch and screwing other girls, his moms friend, crashing his dads car, and completely fucking up his lame-ass life. I mean, Matthew Perry is in it as River's best friend...and they build his character up only to drop his ass out within 30 minutes after the film's start. Jimmy (River) fucks his moms friend for no apparent reason other than he gets a raging bone whenever she crosses her legs. This consequently causes him to miss picking up his virgin girlfriend to go to the dance, so he runs to the dance where he claims he wants to rape her, then says something about loving her, she gets pissed and leaves, and because of this Jimmy gets pissed and gets his ass kicked by her new date. Which he totally deserved, because he's a real BIATCH. Then it ends up that the WHOLE movie is about his relationship with his dad, who is only seen on screen for no more than 15 minutes. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT.

So, one good movie and one bad movie. Bringing that aspect of my day to a real stand off. Fortunately, I got some sour patch kids and a lot of pampering, so I say the day was overall pretty good. I sure as hell needed it, too. In fact, I probably need a sick day once every 2 weeks..that would be perfect.