Episode 21: Warm Fuzzy Feeling

So, Once Upon a Mattress is over. Our final production finished, our last curtain call over. I'll be frank:

IT WAS THE TIME OF MY LIFE

Never before have I felt so strongly about how something has had a serious impact on my life. This production has sculpted my life and how I always want it to be. The people are incredible, the play was phenomenal, the fun, never-ending. The bond the cast had with each other brings a tear to my eye. I love everyone in that damn play...especially the girls...because they're superfine.

But, now it is over. I have to move on. My weekends are open, and The Importance of Being Earnest and Tam-Lin are the only things that allow me still to be emerged in the theatrical way of life that I love so much. Well SHIT. I'm sure as hell going to miss Once Upon a Mattress...I guess thats all I really have to say.

The next big question: "Do I even have a life anymore?" Tehe, let the adventures begin.

Big news: I have become utterly obsessed with the new "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory" teaser trailer. http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=18971 Maybe its just that damn theme song, but I love watching it over and over again. And besides that, Johnny Depp looks so damn cool in it. You may look at it and think: "Cool? WTF is he talking about?" But it's true, I can't wait to be amused by his amazing characterization skills. Johnny Depp could easily make me re-idolize Willa Wonka all over again.

~fuckin a

....god damn..i'm gonna miss Once Upon a Mattress

Episode 4556: Voyeur! Right At Home!

you HAVE to check this out:
http://cateye.msu.montana.edu/
that page gives you control of a webcam on the Montana State University Campus. you can actually WATCH people walk around and shit. I discovered it 1st hour in Mrs. Dunlaps room. I spent the rest of the hour following unsuspecting people around all over campus. I'm a little bummed that its not too lively right now...seeing as how it would be 3 am there..but still..its awesome. You can even take pictures.

It makes you realize that you're never fucking alone. Someone is always watching you. What are the chances that you, all the way in fucking montana, are being watched by a Junior in a high school composition class in Fairfield fucking Iowa...WTF!??! Think about it...and I mean REALLY think about it. If you do it correctly, you should become extremely creeped out.



I'm going to check back in on this door tomorrow afternoon...we'll see if we get any action.
Now...back to Halo 2 on Xbox Live...

Episode 3456: International Ass-Kicking

I have...experienced. And its grand. I can't quite describe the feeling, but I'm pretty sure it looks a bit like this:

(However big a smile this brings to your face, was how happy I was tonight)

After a little bit of dilema's involving computer shit that no-one knew, Kris Johnson and I finally were able to log onto Xbox Live. I kid you not...if you were to be in the room as we finally accomplished this feat, you would think lower of us. Our excitement exceeded that of God's Given Limit of Excitement for an Online Game. But our hype was easily matched by Xbox's awesome online capabilities. Right off the bat, Kris and I were forming alliances with team members and roaring into battle on Warthogs...it was great. Until I had this 12 year old kid that tried to command the entire damn team, so I drove the fucker off a cliff...aaaahhhhh satisfaction. Its ass-kicking all of the world! I can't wait to rub it in Chris Poole's face...MUTHA FUCKA! thats what you get for pussying out a good 3 minutes too soon.

Lunch today was incredibly fun. Heated discussions about Link, seeing Nandi cry with laughter, and general talk about badasses...isn't that what lunch is all about? Well it damn well should be. I feel like i've been missing out for the past 11 years, and have now realized what the cafeteria is really for!! Now that i've experienced this, I'm afraid all my other lunches will feel lackluster, because thats the way shit goes in my life. SUMBITCH.

My General Mood:

Episode 9: Tribute to Godliness

Behold, the greatest gift to man. Sour...THEN sweet. Those of you who know me, undoubtedly know my infatuation for Sour Patch Kids. They are exquisite. Some need to know things involved with Sour Patch Kids:

1. These, are NOT Sour Patch Kids. These disgustingly vile pieces of shit are called, Sour Jacks. An obvious attempt to copy Sour Patch Kids. I don't care which came first. If you have a choice between Sour Jacks, and nothing at all when you're craving Sour Patch Kids, choose nothing at all.
2. The best tasting Sour Patch Kids in Fairfield, are available in the large bag priced at 1.26 at Caseys on Highway 1 and 34. These are also the best priced. Other Sour Patch Kid varieties are a medium bag at Highway 34 bp, and Kwik Stop on Highway 34. They are priced at 75 cents, and are of the same quality as the big bag, only more expensive. The last bag, the worst quality, but the cheapest, can be found at the University bp, for 59 cents. These SPK are more stale, and definately a less tastier candy.
3. Once Upon a Time, I came across an entire 5 pound box of Sour Patch Kids. If anyone has the whereabouts where one can purchase this bulk box, please inform me poste haste.
4. Sour Patch Kids Flavor Ratings:
   Orange, The Tastiest
   Yellow, Close Second
   Red, Close Third
   Green, Close Fourth
5. Now, obviously, there are a variety of ways to consume a Sour Patch Kid. My method would be to eat ONE AT A TIME, chewing each one slowly, then swallowing. Others can tend to SUCK until all the sugar coating is gone, then chewing the rest. You decide. WARNING: Always Be Sure To Alternate Positions In Your Mouth When Consuming This Candy! If One Location Is Used For An Entire Bag (Or, In My Case, An Entire 5 Pound Box) Serious Tongue Pains Can Ensue!

there you have it, the need to knows on a need to have candy. Go out and get you rSour Patch Kids today!

~fuckin a

Episode 3: Excuse Me

Sadly enough, I have considered giving this blog out for people to read. So I made this post in case that day is ever to occur.

You may ask why I, someone who actually can't stand the thought of a blog, decided to have one. Well, it is simple: I was bored. Suuuure, thats what they all say? Yeah, well..it is what they all say, and I've given in. Though I solemly swear never to "emote" on one of these blasted things..because that is just lame.

I needed somewhere to write my ideas, and accompany them with pictures and links. This seemed perfect. And until I can beg enough money from my parents to get a website, this is where I shall stay.

LOOK!



~fuckin a

Episode 548: The Most Beautiful Things Are The Hardest To Understand...

HOLD THE PHONE!

EXIBIT A: [the last time i saw lindsey lohan]



EXIBIT B: [as of last night]




See any new additions? I'll give you a hint:



So, there I was, watching television, when a music video of Lindsay Lohan's new songs came on. I was like:

"Oh, there is that cute little girl from Parent Trap"

then...BOOM!

they hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt as if i were sinning, or committing some sort of terrible crime, for I could not stop staring at the little girl from Parent Trap's marvelous breasts!

My life was immediately filled with terrible complications, and wonderful luscious distractions. I couldn't stop thinking about them. The reason for this is, obviously, because my feeble mind cannot comprehend the phenomenal wonder that is the female breast. Therefore, my obsession and deep investigation on the matter ensues even now with more determination than ever before. Now if you'll excuse, I'm going to dive into this project immediatly.

~fuckin a

Episode 1097: Going and going and going

Ahem....

This is the song that never ends.It goes on and on my friends.Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll CONTINUE singing it forever just because,

This is the song that never ends.It goes on and on my friends.Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll CONTINUE singing it forever just because...

Good...i'm glad thats cleared up. Sad thing is...it is these kind of things that make me look forward to lunch every damn day...tomorrow i'm going to make someone eat a raw egg...



I can't understand how this didn't scare me as a child....