episode 5.020: Walkin' The Walk

Our president is pretty much awesome...

episode 5.019- Hear No, See No, Speak No.

my final project for Make Up for Film:

we had to combine two different make up techniques, so i did bald cap and wax.  It's pretty cheezy in some parts, but I got a 100% on it, so I can't complain.  That finishes up make up class at Full Sail.  Good times, good times.

For those of you who don't know, i acquired the position of Director on the independent production: Sweet&Sour.  (A script I wrote, but it's just fun to say "independent production")  Now we're in it to win it, with our shoot days being in the first week of april.  Ought to be crazy seeing as how we cast on the 4th and shoot on the 6th...2 days to work with actors on a piece that is centrally an acting piece.......that is one thing Full Sail students will probably never learn to grasp, is what script requires what in terms of Acting, Experimental and whatnot.  Most of them just know the process, not the creativity...which is unfortunate.  oh well.  i'll do my best.

in celebration of me dominating another class (make up) I purchased this:

you guessed it: battling zombies with chainsaws and explosive arrows.  i know what you're thinking: "that doesn't make any sense"  Tell me about it.  i don't know when it became ok to take a well known zombie franchise and turn the zombies into creepy virus monsters that explode into giant meaty plant vine thingys...

thats what happens when you shoot them in the head with a shotgun..the just grow weird tentacally things that whip you in the face.  I mean come on...how does that thing hide inside his body anyways?  completely unrealistic...they should just stick to the whole "reanimated rotting corpse that now craves human flesh" schtick....it's much more believable...sheesh

the real allure to the game is that you can play cooperatively with people across the world through the power of the World Wide Web...which i thought was fantastic, because you meet up with a random person and then get the shit scared out of you by creepy meat plants, together...or so i thought.

my initial outing into the cooperative world consisted of me teaming up with some guy from Jamaica and running around in a swamp for quite some time.  Finally we get to an area where the meat plants start swarming us.  So, instinctively, I start unloaded everything i got at them.  And I mean everything.  Whatever was capable of propelling small pieces of lead at deadly speeds was soon rendered useless as I sprayed anything that moved with lead death...then i ran out.  so, for a good half an hour I ran around with my new jamaican friend scrounging up whatever ammo i could and fighting the hordes and hordes of enemies.  FINALLY, we succeeded in clearing them all out, and I felt a wave of accomplishment flow over me.  Not to mention a certain amount of bonding with my newly acquired teammate.  I thought we were unseperable, as I was sure he felt the same way at his home, admiring how we came through together in the end.  

HOWEVER, in order to escape from this area we were currently in, one of us had to raise the bridge while the other ran across and let them through a barricaded door on the other side.  He quickly volunteered to operate the bridge, so I made my way across.  I was halfway to the other side when the bridge dropped out from under me and i fell to my death on the jagged spikes below...the jamaican traitor quickly left game without so much as a "goodbye".....so much for team...my heart was shattered, and I haven't been able to trust any of my partners since...

Moral of the story:  Always raise the bridge, so the other dumbass can run across and you can watch him fall to his death when you purposely let go...it's hilarious.

episode 5.012.2- This just in! Shithead Masterpiece!

here is my first attempt at a bald cap...the class dubbed this work of art: shithead...i'm so proud.

episode 5.015- Shoot them in the head! THE HEAD!

there is my 4th make-up project from today.  If i had more time i would have painted his teeth and bloodshot his eyes, but i think it looks pretty cool as it is.  if you can't tell, today was special effects make-up.  Most everything on nick is wax and some red gelatin.  COOL, eh?

thats what nick did to me...the picture doesn't really do it justice, but that scar by my eye is very realistic looking.  you get it by putting Scar Collodial on your face.  It's basically toxic stuff that pulls your skin real tight where ever it is applied.  we loved it. oh, and i was also the model for the instructor today, and he did this to me:

zombie make up day.  what more could you ask for?

episode 5.012- 'Ey Blinkin'!

name that 16th president!

i did that.  in make-up today. we were supposed to do historical make-up.  don't look at it too long because he becomes amish very quickly.  i'm only impressed because i couldn't know the difference between an eyeliner pencil...and one of those other pencils we use...last week i turned nick into a bald egyptian with a hair-turd on his head (pictures soon I hope), so i'd say this is an advancement...

episode 5.003- I Drive A Weedwhacker to School...

man o man i LOVE my new ride. 

thats a daytime picture for you, in her true glory. i mean, i knew mopeds were fun, but i didn't realize HOW fun until now.  I mean, c'mon.  Check out my transforming key:

"silly goose, how do you operate a motorized vehicle with that?"

CLICK!! SWISSSH!!

"WAIT, WHAT?!!? O-M-G NO WAAAAAY!!"

yep...based on a conversation i actually had with my own brain.

3 day owner of a moped and i'm ready being treated like crap on the road.  Some of you know about my initial adventure as I was pulling out of the parking lot with the moped I had just purchased literally 3 minutes ago, I barely made it a block when a white van sped past me and the floridian handlebar mustache grower hanging out the window hollered: "Strap on your helmet, ASSHOLE!" 

At this point I realized that I had unsuccessfully strapped my helmet to my chin, and I desperately fiddled with it before making a u-turn onto SR-50 during Friday rush hour...I felt like a jackass..which I was alright with because i learned a valuable lesson...unfortunately the one dude who had to chance to call me out on it failed to organized his illiterate brains fast enough to generate an actually applicable verbal insult.  This confused me greatly and I don't think I'm able to credit this guy for potentially saving my life, but, in FACT, i believe he may have been endangering it more than ever before.

Brain Function: (Searching for correct verb that connects the black thingy around chin....FOUND=HELMET) (Possessive Adjective=ERROR-Can't recall correcting spelling it but sounds like ) (NOUN=That thing I should have worn more as a child...FOUND=HELMET) (Inserting insulting noun WARNING! ABOUT TO BE OUT OF VOCAL DISTANCE! EMERGENCY PROFANITY SELECTION!!!! ACTION=BLURT "ASSHOLE")

Asshole?  Really?  Does my lack of personal safety serve as an insult to normal society?  (I say this as a crotch rocket flies past my apartment complex going 90 in a 35...no helmet at all) Perhaps I'm not properly educated on proper use of the word, but if you're going for effectiveness and relevance i'd be more partial to accept words like:

Jackass

Dumbass

Stupid Ass

or to step away from the donkey slang: 

Dipshit

Nimrod

Fuckstick

Tony Danza

all this was going through my head as I was trying to figure out how to secure my helmet strap in the middle of 4 lanes of traffic going in both directions.   His inability to think resulted in me having to decipher what just happened at an inopportune moment...who's the asshole now?

episode 5.001- Muh New Baby