episode 3.019-It's My Density...I Mean, Destiny

within my grasp.

and...i've done my research:

79.99 + 18.95 98.94
77.99 + 18.95 96.94
69.99 + 24.95 94.94
>>>> 79.00 + 11.50 90.50 <<<<

booyah.

ever since i played The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time at the ripe age of 10, i have been far more than obsessed with it's existance than anything else in my media cultured life.
Yes, it even puts Star Wars in the backseat. Zombies. Sour Patch Kids. Kittens. They all shrivel up in the presence of that which is Link. Except for kittens, 'cause kittens can't shrivel.

Nothing in my life struck me as more incredible than Ocarina of Time. I was emotionally attached, and loved every second i played my first time around. and my second. not to mention my 12th. and the umpteenth number that is the quest i am playing now, sitting on pause in Lord Jabu Jabu's Belly while i write this literary splooge and literally splooge at the thought of owning the Master Sword. The sword Link himself wields in the battle against evil to save Hyrule from Ganondorf. The very sword his pulls from the Temple of Time to enter the Spirit Realm to fulfill his destiny as Hero of Time. The very sword that pierced hard skull of the terrifying Ganon, ending his reign on the world. The Master Sword: the key to time travel that puts the flux capacitor to ugly shame. i'm getting all riled up just writing about it.

check this baby out:

it brings a tear to the eye.

i understand that there are fans out there that love zelda more...

but you have to understand that i go beyond thinking zelda totally rules. i respect it. the story, most of all. the characters come in a close second. but the relationships developed in the game are something to enjoy, to admire, and i'm sure to some, to envy.

i respect it so much, i would be a fool not to admit that a very prominent dream of mine would be to develop the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time into a 9 part live action mini series that tells the tale of the Hero of Time and his quest to save Hyrule. It works as a mini series because each dungeon Link encounters has its own personal backstory with a new character to introduce. This would all come together to support the overall story, making on kick ass mini series. to release it in the cinema would be a huge mistake, and would most likely end in destruction of the series, or just complete ignorance to it's existence...







ouch...seriously, ouch.










and to finish:

5 KICK ASS REASONS WHY
The Master Sword
dominates most every other sword/sabre
IN EXISTENCE:

1. Controls Time Travel. Need i say more? No.
2. Unlike the hobbit toy, Sting, which only glows when Orcs are near. The Master Sword glows when its about to kick some serious evil sorcerer ASS. i.e. Spin Attack, Ganon skull piercing domination.
3. No ninnie names. Excalibur? Glamdring? Narsil? Please. Get to the point. Which sword is better than all these, and could shatter each simultaneously? The Master Sword. It's all in the name.
4. No buttons. Even lightsabres fail to glow next to The Master Sword. What if those little buttons break? Then what? You've got yourself a grade A piece of shit pocket rocket, if you know what i mean. The Master Sword is always long, strong, and ready slice the heads off Deku Shrubs.
5. Accommodation. Everyone is walking around with their swords sheathed to there hips. It flops around and gets in the way, not to mention too close to the danger zone. one slip while sheathing all those average swords and you're gonna loose your meat sword. The Master Sword is strapped to the back. Out of the way, and an extra bit of protection against pansy foes who attack from behind.

so, there you have it. i'll open a paypal account and except donations as soon as today.