Episode 9999: "Dwelling Bad Stuff IV"

Gory Glory. Rented Resident Evil 4 this friday. And 10 minutes into the game I was suddenly experiencing this:

"Excuse me, do you mind? Thats my fucking CHEST!"

Yes, exactly that. Some mofo with a potato sack over their head came charging at me with a chainsaw. Upon seeing this, I panic, and begin shooting everywhere chaotically, missing the woodcutting menace every time. Well, there is no mercy in this game, and with one swing, the chain came in contact with my neck and brutally sawed my head straight from its shoulders. AMAZING. I burst out into satisfied laughter and continued the game from the last check point.

After that, I became exceedingly better at doing this:

"Mmm...jelly"

If you do not master the whole shotgun head shooting technique, you will barely survive the first chapter of this game. It revolves around a small village full of hypnotized zombie-like villagers. They wield primitive weapons such as pitch forks and the occasional stick of dynamite, and go about all means nesseccary to rip me limb from limb. I suppose this aspect is better than zombies for this game, for it makes it a lot more fun to play. It allows for lots of fun in repelling invasions, for they come in through the first floor windows, so you run up stairs, and chuck a couple grenades down there. But then they get clever and pull ladders up to the second story windows and come through there. So you have to push the ladders down as they try to get up...lots of fun:

"Toodles!"

What a bitchin game with even more bitchin action. Its good to take a break from life and just blow the fuck out of foriegn bloodlusty villagers. Oh, and a couple of these dudes:

"Nice shorts..."

I love Resident Evil....